You Know You're Tired When...

By: Various Authors

  1. You think twice before lying down on the floor because of the energy it takes to get up.

  2. You think twice before going to your basement because you will eventually have to come back upstairs.

  3. It seems you always feel that two or three days ago you ran an ultra even though it has been several weeks.

  4. You are envious of golfers.

  5. You think about retiring from competition.

  6. You see runners in a race that you have only seen before or after a race, never during a race.

  7. You start looking for someone that you used to think that was as slow as molasses but they seem to be faster now.

  8. Your mind says that you need to run 20 but your body screams to stop at 10.

  9. You really look forward to the run being over very early in the run.

  10. You find mountains in your regular training runs that you had never known that existed (you also live in Kansas).

  11. You think that you are crossing Handies Peak in the Hardrock course and you just went over an overpass in N.J.

  12. You wake up after sleeping 9 hours and feel like you slept 2 hours.

  13. You start finding lots of things that you have to do on Saturday morning.

  14. Add your thoughts to this list.

  15. You're running down the trail and see rocks and roots that you normally would stride right over without a second thought; you see them, you think about them, you know you should be able to step right over them, you "try" to stride over them, but you trip nonetheless!

  16. While walking to the office, you're overtaken on the street by elderly tourists.

  17. Your massage therapist asks you to stop snoring so loud.

  18. You can't sleep at night and can't stay awake during meetings at work.

  19. You sit down in the port-a-john instead of using the urinal.

  20. "I'm going to have a bath instead of a shower.. that way I don't have to stand on my feet".

  21. You fall asleep in the dentist's chair while having your teeth cleaned.

  22. You put your toddler down before attempting to climb the stairs to take them to bed.

  23. You find the home project list more appealing than going out for a run.

  24. You tell yourself that you need to get an early jump at work...instead of running.

  25. You begin to agree with your wife...ultras are crazy.

  26. After a long one--in want of fluids--you go to an ATM, put your Driver's License in the slot by mistake thereby setting off a silent alarm. While waiting for the money the police come and mistake your tiredness for drunkenness and make you walk a straight line, which you can't do.

  27. You name becomes the office term for "sleeping behind your desk" after a co-worker catches you with a digital camera and e-mails it to everyone (but the boss--thank God).

  28. When getting out of your car, you open the door and you sit there with one leg in and leg out for a minute or so....

  29. When getting out of your car after a race, you open the door and you just sit there.....

  30. You count posting to the ultra list as a long training run.

  31. You sit and stare out the window, because watching TV is too demanding.

  32. A woman pushing twins in a double stroller makes it to the top of a hill sooner than me as I'm practicing race walking. That just happened an hour ago.

  33. You know you are tired after running your second ultra in 2 days and you go to push start the car, which had a perpetual bad starter, and it takes 100 feet to get it rolling fast enough rather than the customary 40-50.